Our LGBTQ+ Hxstories
Open Minds Online Group Feb 2022
Who are you and how do you know who you are? What is your hxstory and how has your life journey so far shaped your identity? This month, we decided to try and answer some of these questions by asking the group to bring along a photo from their past that had importance for them.
A few of us brought photos from our early years. Photos that felt like they were from a more innocent time where many of our family relationships felt simpler and more connected. Imagine baby photos or photos with your brothers, sisters or cousins. We talked about the fun of being surrounded by extended family and how much joy we felt at being part of a community. It was interesting how familiar these kinds of photos looked to all of us and a few people talked about the importance of having access to spaces where people understand your heritage.
An experience common to many of us was the ‘classic kids birthday party’. We talked about the cream cake surrounded by paper plates of snacks. Samosas and pakoras and the usual big group photo of everyone standing behind the cake table. We felt that a lot of the time, our parents tried their best with the challenges that migration and living in family networks caused them.
We went on to talk about how our relationships with our family networks have changed over the years. For most of us, our LGBTQ+ identities have impacted on the way that we feel we ‘fit in’ with our families. We heard how some of our family members have found it hard to make sense of these identities and this has meant that we’ve needed to find new ways of being around them. This wasn’t the case for all of us, and for some of us, the photos that we chose reminded us of the family that have been more accepting of our LGBTQ+ identities from an earlier stage.
There was no judgement about each of our individual journeys. It felt like a privilege to be able to hear about the struggles and successes that each of us has faced and we hope that everyone felt heard, seen and supported by each other.
Do you have photos from your childhood and which would you choose if someone asked you to choose one that was important to you? Where do you keep your photos from your past and what do you think this tells you about your relationship to your memories from that time?
Our hxstories are unique to us. We are all shaped by the space and circumstances that we grew up in. This includes the people that supported us as we developed. Much of our hxstories are hidden inside our memories and sharing our photos felt like an important way to bring these memories into the present moment.
It was encouraging to hear that we had a lot of similar experiences, even if sometimes these experiences have been hard for us or have left us in challenging situations. We hope that by hearing the experiences of others that our hxstories all felt more connected with the wider experience of having Punjabi or South Asian heritage.
With warm wishes,
The Open Minds Project
We meet on the last Wednesday of each month and if you want to join us at an Open Minds Meeting, please visit the Events page on our website.
