This year has been a challenge for all of us. There is no place that hasn’t been affected in some way by the pandemic and even the simplest things have become more complicated. We used this month’s Open Minds group as a space to reflect on our experiences of the past year and just as importantly, we used it to think about ways that we can support and nourish ourselves into 2022.

As LGBTQ+ people, we can often find it hard to find spaces where we truly feel safe. Where we can be our true selves without hesitation or fear of judgement. Finding those spaces where we can is not always easy. South Asian cultures are not always accepting of us and being South Asian in an LGBTQ+ space can also present its own challenges.

LGBTQ+ people generally grow up with a lot on their shoulders. As children we often know that we’re different from people around us, but it’s not always easy to put this difference into words that make sense. Sometimes it’s the people that are around us that mark us as different and unfortunately this can come out as bullying or abuse. When we go into work or education, people can assume we’re ‘straight’ and it can feel like a lot of effort to correct them.

Our identities are complicated things and we show different sides of ourselves depending on who we’re around or what we’re doing. We love the fact that the people who use the Open Minds Project are such an interesting mix of people from all parts of the world and at this month’s online meeting we wanted to change things a little and give you all time to get to know each other a bit more.

Pride and shame are sometimes thought of as being two sides to the same coin but things are probably a bit more complicated than that. We usually learn about pride and shame by watching the actions of others and this can be a problem for LGBTQ+ indviduals of colour as it’s much harder to find role models who understand our point of view and that can teach us how to feel pride about our LGBTQ+ identities.

People are social animals and as LGBTQ+ people social situations can be scary places. We learn to be careful about who we invite into our LGBTQ+ world because there’s always the potential of a negative reaction that can be psychologically or physically dangerous. This is why it is important to look for spaces where your LGBTQ+ identity is not an issue or even better, places where it is celebrated.

Being LGBTQ+ usually means that you’re on the outside of what society thinks is ‘normal’. It can be tiring to cope with this and this is why some of us choose to ‘come out’ or invite people into our LGBTQ+ world.

Watch Kuljit, the Open Minds Project Lead, talk about his experiences of being LGBTQ+ and Punjabi with Jodi Dancers.

The idea for this meeting came from someone who identifies as LGBTQ+ Punjabi and has had a personal journey with problematic alcohol use. They reflected on the fact that there aren’t any specific spaces for this intersection and that people in this group might appreciate having a space to talk about their experiences with each other.

As you might expect, the conversations about ‘Coming Out’ were complicated. We all had different experiences of telling people about our LGBTQ+ identities. We talked about how some people can judge others for not ‘being out’ and also how this idea of ‘outness’ is something that doesn’t always make sense in Punjabi communities.

We talked about the challenges of making work that takes your identity into account in spaces that don’t always understand or want to understand them. We also talked about how our heritage allows us to draw on different sources of inspiration that we can bring back into our work.

Unfortunately, for lots of us shame is probably the first thing that we felt when we realised we were part of the LGBTQ+ family. I learnt from watching the adults around me that being gay and not getting married to a woman was something I should automatically feel shame for. This led me to hide my sexuality for many years and caused me a lot of unnecessary unhappiness.

It all begins with an idea.

It all begins with an idea.

It all begins with an idea.

It all begins with an idea.