Sometimes staying hidden is our only option.

Open Minds Birmingham Group - May 23

Train strikes meant that this month's Birmingham Open Minds Group needed to take place online instead. This is a summary of the important ideas that we talked about.

We LGBTQIA+ people still need to think about our safety more than the average heterosexual cis-gendered person. It is still ok in most of the world for people to not take issue with our identities, but for them to use this disagreement as an excuse to use aggression or violence against us. This aggression looks different in different places and we are lucky that in the UK thing have gradually been becoming safer and that we have laws that are designed to protect LGBTQIA+ people from harm and discrimination.

We spent a big part of this month's group talking about safety and how it feels to be LGBTQIA+ in the UK compared to Pakistan and India. We also talked about how being safe isn't the same as feeling safe and how it can be difficult to get rid of feelings that you are being watched, judged and talked about even when you're far away from people that might know you.

The Open Minds Project was started to build positive community groups for us LGBTQIA+ people with South Asian heritage because we recognise the powerful effect of being around people who do not judge you for your sexuality or gender. Although talking about our safety was sometimes tough to do, we all spoke about how important it was to be able to talk about these things in a kind, open and supportive environment.

If you carry a lot of fear about your LGBTQIA+ identity because of your life experiences, it can be healing to find spaces where you feel safe. We recognise that this is easier in some places than others, and for some people finding these spaces carries new risks where you may become a more obvious target for people that want to do you harm.

If you are one of these people, know that we are thinking of you and hope that the work we do gives you some relief. Even if you feel excluded by your birth family, there are other 'families' out in the world who would consider you as part of their own and we hope that these connections will come into your life.

For those of you in the UK, we will keep making our spaces so that you have a chance to be together without fear or judgment and hope that over time this will help us feel stronger and help us cope better with the knowledge that our right to safety is something that we will still need to fight for.

With warm wishes,

The Open Minds Project ­

We usually meet on the last Wednesday of each month and if you want to join us at an Open Minds Meeting, please visit the Events page on our website.