Yes, You Can be Both Gay and Asian
I was thirteen when I realised I was a lesbian and fifteen when I came out at secondary school. Though I was showered with support and love from my peers, a lot of queries were raised about the relationship between my sexuality and my ethnicity. Questions such as: “Well what about your religion?”, “Will your family accept you?”, and “Are you sure you’re really gay?” were all thrown at me.
When I came out again in college, I was met with shocked reactions. People couldn’t understand I was both Indian and gay, and to this day this has become something I am met with often. It’s like my identity is a really difficult puzzle, the pieces just don’t match. Indian and gay? People can’t put two and two together. In all honesty, at first, neither could I.
When I realised I liked females, I became completely out of touch with my cultural side. I didn’t feel as if I was a ‘real’ Indian anymore. My sexuality was a big secret that I carried around with me, a weight pushing down on me, and it took me a long time to truly accept myself. I spent so much time coming to terms with my sexuality, that I completely turned away from my culture. I wish I felt prouder of being Indian when I was younger. I wish I learnt more about my culture.
However, as I’ve grown up I’ve realised two very important things that I want every single person to understand:
It is never too late to learn, I can (and will) learn all about my culture now.
It is okay to face multiple intersections in your identity, as long as you are happy.
I am in my final year of university, and I feel ready to learn more about my Indian background and cultural roots. It has taken me a long time to get here, but I can confidently say I am both gay and Asian, and very proud of that.
You can be part of the LGBTQIA+ community no matter how many intersectionalities you have.
Harmandeep Takhar
